Tweety Bird and Gardicille, Delicious.

Evening, darlings.
Today wasn't that eventful.
Except I went to the doctor, and got three shots.
Meningitis, Gardicille, and Hepatitis A.
For college, cancer, and Spain.
But I got Tweety Bird bandaids and three lollipops. :D
My arms hurt pretty bad though. :/

Yesterday was fun, though.
Took a math test that I probably failed. (<-Only bad part.)
Hung out with her the rest of the day before going to my cousin's birthday party.
The hanging out was cool,
We played video-games, watched an awesome .hack// DVD, and played with her piggy. x]
His name's Wilbur too. xD

At the party, the family and I ate some cake and told some jokes while watching the Goonies.
Twas tolerable, more so than the rest of our parties.
Not a lot of yelling, but the kids could stop screaming a little bit.
That'd be cool.

As for now, I've been gaming a lot today and CSI's been on a lot.
But my Greggy hasn't. :[
He's on, on Sunday.
CSI MARATHON, baby!
You know where I'll be. ;3

Still miss my friends. :/

Sigh, gotta jet again.
Peace.

Can We Bring Yesterday Back Around?

Whoa, it's been quite a bit since I've posted, huh?
Sorry about that.
Been pretty dead over the past week or so.
Had a Mono scare with a friend, but it turned out to be something else for her.
(She's feeling a lot better now though. I'm so glad, I hate it when she's sick, I just want her to be okay.)
And for me?
Upper Respiratory Infection, or so Mommy says.
"Grandma gave it to me."
(I think it's just a cold or reaction to this medication she's been shoving down my throat.)
It's pretty much cleared up right now, though.
Except the cough's still here.
The week's just been rough,
With all the finals and everything.
And the sickness. :/

But otherwise, life's been okay.
Parents have been acting weird though.
Weird like not caring weird.
They keep forgetting simple things,
Like food.

Ashley started her new college the other day.
She's going to Suffolk now.
And guess what?
She hates it there too.
But she said her and Kevin are gonna get married soon.
After they go to Connecticut and stay in a college for a year or two.
So that'll be cool.
I like Kevin.
Nice boy.

Regarding me this time,
I've been surprisingly happy lately.
Lonely, but with a smile, if that makes sense.
My horoscope's been pretty good to me too.
Telling me that I'm going to be having some sort of relationship possibility soon.
*Shrug* I believe in Horoscopes, but in that one, I have some serious doubts.
Especially since the only things I've been doing lately are sleeping and stuffing my face.

I'm pretty content right now though.
I was watching The Riddick Trilogy before. :]
Vin Diesel's another one of my babies. x]
He's quite the gorgeous man.

Don't you think? :]

Off from school this week too for Regents and stuff.
Gotta come in on Thursday for a Math Midterm, though.
Not my favorite subject at all.
I just hope I didn't fail the quarter, since I know I'm going to fail the Midterm.
Just don't want Mom up my ass again for this. :|

Sigh.
I miss my friends.

Gotta jet now, people.
Peace.

Ugh.

Fucking fuck you.
Stop being such a bitch to me.
I know I can't go to I-CON.
You know I would go if I could.
But my mom already spent a good $3,000 on this trip to Spain for me.
So stop doing this to me.
You know I feel guilty easily,
And reminding me of it is just making it worse.
Sometimes,
And really lately,
I'm starting to really get tired of you.

Getting back on better things,
Party at Lizzy's tonight. :]
It's too cold to go downport.
But I can't wait.
I really love her lots<3.
But she's getting too old for me now. :[
Soon she'll be legal.
And that's when they all go bad.
Lolololol, totally j/k.
I'll always love her<3.
No matter how old she may get.

Well, have things to do, darlings.
Peace.

Whoa! Macaroni and Passports, Oh My!

Today was filled with fail. :/

But first, the good things!
Lots of snow and coldness.
Fried food at lunch, yay!
Lizzy's birthday, even more yay!
Talk on the phone day in Global, whoo!
Talk about everything day in Creative Writing, awesome!
I slept, yay!

Bad things time:
First, really didn't want to get up this morning.
Second, almost fell asleep in math. Lol, not so good.
More annoying fucking people in Photo.
Spanish sucked. My teacher yelled at us for taking seconds to process something.
Apparently it isn't allowed.
(Because sacks of thoughtless meat is totally better.)
Bullshitted my way through an essay in English.
Gym, blah.
And in Science,
These kids stole my teacher's dinosaur toys,
And she was really upset.
I hate people,
So I'm gonna buy her some new ones.
I don't like how she's treated at all.

At home, things got a little better when I slept.
But then I was woken up to go and get my Passport Picture.
(I'm going to Spain in April. :/)
So yeah, not so fun, leaving home for nine days.
And apparently I won't be able to bring Kingsorion (my Lappy) depending on what the people at my school says.
(Oh well though, I'm bringing it anyway.)
Gotta go to the Post Office tomorrow to get the paper work filled out.

And dontcha just love Long Island?
Guess how many degrees it's gonna be tomorrow?
8.
No, that wasn't a typo.
8 degrees.
I can't wait. x]
So yeah, hopefully 2 hour delay tomorrow.
Yay more sleep.

Still have lots of projects due,
So that's not fun.

And all of my friends, well, almost all of them have boyfriends/girlfriends or are getting boyfriends/girlfriends.
It's not that I don't feel lonely,
More than usual,
But still, it's kinda awkward at the lunch table when people are texting their lovers and I'm just...not.
Eh, whatever, though.

And now, my Greggy's not on TV, :[
(Ahem, I would totally adore some CSI Season DVD's for like a gift or something. >->; )
So I'm eating some macaroni and watching NCIS. xD
Saturday's going to be the bomb, though.
Downport with the Biffles<3.
Anywhoo,
Gotta jet now.
Peace.

Ever get that Blahhh kinda feeling?

Well, I have it.
See all those emotional posts down below? ↓
Part of me blames it on the weather.
The snow keeps melting.
I love snow.
The other part blames it on people.
Just drama, yanno?

But today was decent, I guess.
'Got a fucking 95% on my Math Quiz!!!!!!!! :DDDDD
I get to make my last roll for Photo1 digital, so that'll be kinda chill.
'Had a fight with her, then made up.
Or at least she thinks it's made up.
She's just been, unbearable lately.
Whatever though.
My Biffle fixed me right up with some Fudge Brownie Cookies<3.
Oh yeah, she'll be in here a lot too. :]
(See, love? You get your own color. x])
I wrote part of a nice piece in Creative Writing.
Still haven't made it anywhere on the project though.
Speaking of projects, I have a Thematic Essay due next week,
As well as an essay in English about the person who's influenced us the most.
I'm stuck between her and her.
Lunch was just great, as always.
Lab off was fun.
I think I'm starting to get a small Girl-Crush on someone too. :X
Don't worry, it's not another her, I just think this one's awesome. xD
If I give her a color though, then that'd be like asfghgsdf of the eyes. >->;

And now, you ask?
Now I'm just sitting here blogging while trying to solve a case on my new CSI game.
I fucking love CSI, btw.
Greggy is my baby, though.

Ignore the dead body.
He's the pretty one in the back. :]

Also gonna crunk it downport on Saturday with her and her (<-Look, Mommy, you get a color too! :D) for her birthday. :]
Gotta jet now, loves.
Peace.

Still Not Good Enough.

She keeps talking about not speaking to me anymore.
Really, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to kill myself.
I told her that.
I keep telling her that.

"What would you do if one day I just stopped talking to you forever?"
"Kill myself."
"Haha, let's not get pissed at each-other then."

You don't understand that I wouldn't be able to live without you.
You just.
You're everything to me.
I wish I could just tell you all of this.
How I feel about you and about our relationship.
My friends don't understand that I don't want to have sex with you,
That I don't want to just non-stop make-out with you and kiss you,
All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you.
Next to you.
And your beautiful smile,
Your intoxicating humour and sarcasm,
Your adorable baby voice,
Your warm hugs,
Your constant teasing,
And everything else about you that makes you, you.

I would never do anything to hurt you.
Not intentionally, that is.
I would never skip out on your Sweet Sixteen Party.
I would never miss your Graduation Party.
I would never miss your Wedding.
I would never not come to your Wake.

I love you too much.
Way, way, too much, darling.
More than you could ever know.
I'd give you my kidney,
I'd give you my liver,
I'd give you my pancreas,
Part of my brain,
My heart.
Anything and everything.
You can have it and you can keep it forever without giving me anything in return for as long as we live.
I just want you to be happy and healthy, that is all.
To know that I will always be here for you,
Forever and ever.

I didn't talk to you when we hung out yesterday,
About how I was feeling,
Feeling like you hate me.
I just.
I can't seem to get the words out without bursting to sobs.
Even thinking them--typing this right now is making tears well up in my eyes.
I don't want you to ever say that you hate me,
Or that you never want to speak to me again,
I can just picture you throwing everything I ever gave you at my feet,
Screaming your lungs out for me to just leave you the fuck alone,
Me sobbing and just falling to my knees,
Begging for it to be a dream,
Praying for it to not be real,
And all I would say would be two words over and over:
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."
But somehow,
I feel like you're going to say these things really soon if I don't talk to you.

We're not hanging out tomorrow.
I'm still going to talk to you about it though.
No matter what.
I want to know everything,
Just so I can fix it all for you,
So I can do everything,
Make every little problem go away.
Anything for you.
Anything...

Never good enough.

I'm not good enough for her.
I will never be.
Ever.
I'm going to lie down and cry now.
Peace.

I've got no escape and there's no way of pullin' me under.

Okay, yeah.
Pretty sucky day today.
I woke up freezing,
(Which I usually do since you know, it's Winter here and all,)
But this morning was just like hypothermia freezing.
Slipped on some ice on the way to the car,

Got a 52 on a math test,
18/60 on another,
And ohlook 62 average,
Just fucking great.
I have a quiz tomorrow though,
And I pretty much understand what we're going over right now.
So if I do good it should hopefully bring up my average to passing. :/

Photo was okay, finished those reading assignments that I had to.
But ohmygod, I kind of want to kill this one freshman girl in my class. (I don't have a grudge/hate for freshman, I'm just stating age for this.)
All she does is complain.
*Beginning of mini-rant #1*
(Her)"Ugh, I hate this class. I only came in the class mid first-quarter since guidance sucks ass and wouldn't give be a better choice than Photo."
~~~
"I hate developing! It's so stupid, why can't we just use digital cameras and Photoshop like before?"
(Me)"Uh, since that would defeat the whole purpose of the class? Traditional photography is dying out, you know, so it's nice to get a chance to do it the old fashioned way, right?"
"If you're a caveman! *insert really obnoxious laugh here*"
~~~
You could have chosen another class, couldn't you?
If you hate it so much, drop it.
You're already taking chorus, no?
There's your art/music credit.
Gtfo the class if you think Photography's so stupid.
Other people like me, and my friends actually like it and it's a nice class.
So don't be like the other people in the room who is just taking this class for an 'Easy A' and ruin expensive equipment, 'kay?

Anyway, Spanish was decent.
I talked to her most of the period.
It was nice, except she likes to draw penises in my agenda book so I keep having to attack the White!Out to get rid of the 'Genda Herpes. But her teeth hurt so I felt bad.
We're going to the mall tomorrow though. :]
So that'll be fun.
I'll try to talk to her about all the yucky stuff too.

Global2Honors wasn't so bad either.
We have a Thematic Essay to write, but eh, my teacher's really helping us a lot.
I like his class because he just doesn't teach us what he's told to teach us.
He speaks freely about his views and is a nice, funny guy who really knows how to connect with the kids.
But stern when needed.

English next, ugh.
I don't even want to get into it.

Creative Writing was good.
Got a lot of writing done, lol.

Lunch was of course, fun as hell<3.

And double science was just.
Ugh, lemme explain.
Lab day, my picked group isn't the best of the bunch.
I was the only girl in the group, by the way,
And somehow while I was doing my work,
The topic of Miniskirts came up.
The guy next to me says this to all the people around:
(Him) "You know what? The guy who created mini-skirts, those shortshortshort shorts, and thongs should be a God. You know a skinny girl with a tight top, mini-skirt and thong is just mmmmm! *Shiver* Easy access, you know? Hahaha."
Okay, yeah.
Thanks for the regard of this not so skinny girl who's sitting right next to you.
(No, I don't think I'm fat just a tad on the chubby side. >/)
If you saw me in a mini-skirt, you'd probably throw up four times, give 'r take.
Ugh, people like that just really piss me off.
I love the thought of beautiful these days, don't you?
Screw this, I'm not in the mood anymore.
Peace.

Mommy Dearest and suchhles.

Today was okay.
I didn't get to sleep as usual though.
'Been waiting to watch House.
And oh look, I'm not even watching it, lol.
I feel quite paranoid lately.
For a lot of reasons.
Mostly because of her.
Oh yeah, you'll be hearing about her a lot.
She runs through my brain non-stop and I'm starting to feel like I'm losing her.
But thanks to Mommy Dearest<33,
I'm going to talk to her and sort things out.
Ugh, it's really hot in here.
And I just want to sleep.
Night for now then, loves.
Peace.

I need somewhere to pour everything out.

Ohaythar.
The title kinda says everything, but yeah.
I needed a place that wasn't a community to just get everything out.
How I'm really feeling,
About my life,
My friends,
My lovers and such.
Most of it will be angsty probably.
Since yanno, teenager here.
Anyway,
No-one has to read this.
It's purely for me.
And my not so clear mind.
So yeah, welcome, I guess.
:/;